You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize