i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
