Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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