I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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