she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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