its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
