i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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