sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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