we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
