Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
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I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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