I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
