mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
