Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
