It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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