At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
