Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
