i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
