You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
