Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
