just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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