my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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