I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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