He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
