What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
50% drunk capacity currently
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
