her vagine was all disorganized.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
