he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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