At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
