how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
