either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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