Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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