Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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