My friends, they love my intelligence
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
