I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
