I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
