butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love you. Go after that dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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