So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
