I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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