Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
