there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
