i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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