these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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