Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
