Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
