Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

  (805): View more from California

  God Bless America!

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  (954): Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day! (805): God Bless America! http://tfl.nu/gnt7
  Replies (134) Good night (6810) Bad night (1404)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

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  (702): I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/4g7g
  Replies (9) Good night (1102) Bad night (2898)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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  (617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up http://tfl.nu/71wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4897) Bad night (825)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11378) Bad night (1546)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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  (616): Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america http://tfl.nu/zong
  Replies (27) Good night (6648) Bad night (1562)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

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  (214): he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies http://tfl.nu/w2ol
  Replies (4) Good night (3152) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There r osticjed everywhere

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  (248): There r osticjed everywhere http://tfl.nu/gpnb
  Replies (12) Good night (1814) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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  (570): He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/9z6q
  Replies (18) Good night (4290) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to

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  (412): Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to http://tfl.nu/0y3x
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (2265)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

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  (+27): i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please http://tfl.nu/h9fq
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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  (312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

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  (+44): gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend http://tfl.nu/upf3
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan

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  (301): I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/1x19
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.

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  (512): Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl. http://tfl.nu/szyu
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (271)

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