I just saw a hot homeless man
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.