I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
