i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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