dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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