Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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