question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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