Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
well you can't waste a boner
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
