Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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(518): View more from New York

so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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(314): View more from Missouri

who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?

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(516): View more from New York

Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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(850): View more from Florida

Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!

(402): View more from Nebraska

Maintaining the status quo.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.

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