Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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