peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
