yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
