Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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