Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
