Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
