So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
