Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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