the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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