people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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