Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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