I love having hate sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
