Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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