my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
